at the end of the first segment of module 5 (of the american lung association's "freedom from smoking" program online), we're encouraged to post about the benefits of quitting, and there's a pop-up window with a "starter" list of benefits, then a place to list the benefits we've already seen from quitting, and those we anticipate seeing as we remain smoke-free. i looked at that first space and thought, "it hasn't even been three days; i haven't seen any benefits yet". but as i thought about it some more, i realized that i have seen benefits, and that they are significant. benefits i've seen

one of the strongest motivators for human beings (actually, for all conscious beings) is the avoidance of pain. if you think about it, you'll probably come to the conclusion that this one factor, above all others, was the primary reason we continued to smoke for as long as we did, in spite of the overwhelming evidence that by doing so, we were doing incredible damage to ourselves; we didn't continue to smoke because we had a death wish (at least, most of us didn't), we continued to smoke to avoid the pain of withdrawal from our addiction to nicotine. choose your pain

i just noticed a sign today (11/25/01) sign of recovery

it's hard to believe i only found this website (the american lung association's "freedom from smoking" program) 15 days ago, my life has changed so much in that short period - the support and encouragement i've gotten from so many of you (i don't want to name names, because i wouldn't want anyone to feel left out) has been like a lifeline that's been thrown to me in one of the darkest and hardest times of my life. fear

last night, i was recording a recital (my nephew's ex-girlfriend is finishing her master's in music education, and one of the requirements of her degree program is to present a full-length performance recital and submit a recording of it for the school's archives - and yes, i realize that this parenthetical aside probably raises more questions than it answers, but it's pretty complicated, and does nothing to help set the scene, so...). unexpected trigger