quitting smoking: nothing special
you were not born a nicotine addict.
and, if you're like me (and a lot of others), you didn't become a nicotine addict until you were a teenager (or very nearly so; i smoked my first cigarette at 10, and was probably addicted by the time i was 12, but who's counting?).
keep working at it long enough, one day you'll realize that you haven't even thought about smoking a cigarette for a couple of days.
so, for the first 12 years of your life or so, you never once thought, "god! i wish i had a cigarette!", or, "god! i wish i could quit!" for your first dozen years, you never had an uncontrollable urge to smoke, you never had to run out in the middle of the night to grab a pack of cigarettes, you never had to go stand outside in all kinds of weather to feed your addiction.
you were free. and it was nothing special. it was nothing special because it was just how you were; you had no concept of being a slave to an addiction, so there was nothing to compare your freedom to. and it was nothing special because you didn't have to work at it; it was handed to you on a silver platter. you took it for granted.
but then, you taught yourself how to be a smoker, and it was something special. it was something special because it was new and different, because it was forbidden, because it was something you had to work at...
you had to force yourself to get past that initial revulsion your body felt (remember those first few cigarettes? how you coughed and choked and maybe felt a little sick and thought to yourself, "how can adults like this?").
you had to sneak around for the first few years, practicing becoming a smoker somewhere out of sight because mom and dad would kill you if they ever caught you smoking (even though they were smokers themselves).
and, in time, sucking in the thousand and one cancer-causing substances in cigarette smoke every time you took a hit became "normal" for you. because by now, you were addicted to nicotine, and you were in serious denial about the risks; like all addicts...
and it was nothing special; it was just how you were. you didn't have to work at it any more.
but there was a big difference: this time, you had something to compare it to.
there was a part of you that remembered being free; that remembered not having those uncontrollable urges; that remembered not having to run out in the middle of the night to get your fix; that remembered not having to stand outside in all kinds of weather, feeling like a social outcast, because you had to feed your addiction.
and you wanted that freedom back. it was something special. it was something special because you didn't have it any more, and you knew you'd have to work to get it back...
and you will have to work to get it back: you'll have to retrain your body how to deal with not being poisoned any more; you'll have to retrain your mind how not to respond to those urges; you'll have to train yourself how to handle your emotions without your drug of choice there to mediate them.
and if you keep working at it long enough, one day you'll realize that you haven't even thought about smoking a cigarette for a couple of days. down the road, you'll realize that you haven't thought about having a smoke for a couple of months. keep going, and you'll hit the point where you realize you haven't had the urge to smoke a cigarette in years...
keep going long enough, and you'll realize that, once again, being free is nothing special. it'll just be how you are. you won't have to work at it any more.
the big difference this time will be that, when you compare where you're at to where you've been, you'll never want to go back to being a slave to your addiction.
