written on my second anniversary of freedom from smoking (and originally posted on november 19, 2003), this ramble cautions against allowing the upheavals of life to make us lose sight of what's really important: our freedom.

two years down, a lifetime to go…

2009 February 27

very few times in my life have been as emotionally, spiritually, and physically draining to me as the last month has been. i won't go into detail, but i will tell you that hell week was nothing compared to this past month, and at the time i was going through hell week, i couldn't imagine anything worse.

don't throw away your freedom and your health because of the vagaries of life. you're worth more than that.

even though i've chosen every day for the past two years not to feed my addiction to nicotine and i thought that strong cravings were a thing of the dim and distant past, this month has brought me some of the strongest cravings i can remember; it's as if the demon was just laying in wait for some major turmoil to come into my life so he could pull out all the stops to get me to feed him again.

but i haven't, and i won't. because i know that smoking won't make anything about this situation better; it'll only make me feel worse than i already do.

don't let the demon use stress or emotional upheaval to entice you back by telling you that a cigarette would really help you handle this situation.

that's a lie; it won't.

and don't be fooled by the demon's claims that you can always go back to being quit after this situation clears up and life calms down a little.

that's a lie; it won't.

i lost a three-year quit to those two lies once upon a time... and not only did that first cigarette not help me handle the situation, within a couple of days of smoking "just this one", i was back to a pack a day, and my daily consumption just continued to climb from there.

as for the second lie, it took nearly twenty years before i got back to being quit again (and life never really "calmed down" all that much, either).

there's only one way to maintain a quit: don't smoke. no matter what.

life has its ebbs and flows; if you're down now, you'll be up later. that's life. live it, or live with it; you have no other choice. don't throw away your freedom and your health because of the vagaries of life. you're worth more than that.

choose life.

kevin - grateful to be celebrating two years of freedom today!

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5 responses leave one →
  1. 2003 November 20
    patty permalink

    Congratulations, kevin. Two years and lots of turmoil is a lot. I'm happy you didn't go back to smoking. You're absolutely right, it solves nothing and only makes you feel worse. We've both been there and know. Take good care,
    Blessings and KTQ,
    patty, still 4 days behind you

  2. 2004 February 7
    VELMA permalink

    Kevin , you are so right !!! WE are always addicts , one is neveer enough which makes it to many !!! I once quit for 11 yrs, didnt have the help then like now and i thought i could ahve a few , help take some weight off !!! yes sure i went on for 22 yrs quiting for a bit then taking one !!! I know now no matter what i can never have one !! i wont take the first one , or even a puff i have commited to rejecting even the thought from my mind There is no circimstance that would be reason , aand believe me the addiction will try and find one if it can ktq

  3. 2005 October 24
    fightn4life permalink

    Thank you for posting this two year ramble Kevin. I have been on unstable ground and feeling so weak at times. Knowing you walked this road before helps me know I really am never alone. You are awesome, and a valuable inspiration. Thank you, thank you... Sandyz

  4. 2006 August 26
    Marie permalink

    As Sandyz said, "you are awesome, and a valuable inspiration." So, I'm not the only one... I keep reminding myself that I don't have to do this in my strength, I have God's strength in me. God bless! 321 days down, a lifetime to go...

  5. 2009 February 27

    note: the comments above were left on the original tale at the date and time indicated.

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